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恩……来源是糗事百科和FML网站……
我很无聊的~~~飘走
1. Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me.
2. Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters.
3. Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me.
4. 还是我上小学的事,同桌写字出了名的小,当时经常用那种田字格本儿,她竟然每个小格里写一个字,有一天上课,心血来潮和同桌比起了写字,看谁的小,我俩在白纸上你一行我一行,越写越小.这时不幸被老师发现了,他以为我俩在传小纸条,生气的把我们叫起来“你俩写的什么,给我们大家念念!”我和同桌站在那儿, 脸憋得通红,半天谁也没吭声.“***(我们前桌的同学),你给大家念!”
前面同学拿过我们的纸条,看了看,“老师我不认识”,一脸的无辜.
老师用看白痴的表情看了看那位同学,一个箭步走过来抓过纸条看了看,又凑近看了看,眯起眼睛使劲儿看,最后无奈的把纸条往我们桌上一拍“接着上课!”
5. 分享一下我家爷爷的经典事蹟
话说我奶奶在我五岁的时候就过世了
爷爷寂寞的过了后来的十几年的孤单日子
他老人家八十好几的时候
对于世间红尘感到厌倦
每天都跟我们念他不想再活了
我们也拿他没輒阿
想说老人家发发牢骚就算了
没想到某天他竟然跑去照相馆照了遗照
连框都表好了
就挂在奶奶的灵堂的照片旁边(还自己钉钉子桥位置)
大人们说也好
说不定骗过阎王爷会活得更久哩
有一天哥哥带他的国中同学来家里玩
他不经意的问问哥哥墙上那两张照片是谁
哥回说:爷爷奶奶阿
没想到
爷爷竟然这个时候从楼上默默的走下来了
又默默的走出门(推测是要去逛菜市场)
一阵沈默之后
哥的同学: 你刚刚有看到吗? |
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